on lucky stars and counting blessings.

June 4, 2012

columbine it happened in a flash. that’s the line people use to describe these kinds of things. on friday night, as we were walking home from dinner with friends, james was hit by car. it came from behind us as we crossed atlantic avenue. we had the walk signal. we never saw it. and in an instant i turned to see james on the slick pavement, bleeding.

i’ve never heard a banshee scream, but i can only imagine that the sounds coming out of my throat were a close approximation. it was a kind of primal rallying call. and rally people did. first, there were our dear and utterly fantastic friends stephen and sara and then a veritable army of onlookers who swept in to offer hugs and stop traffic and hold james’s neck still.

james will be fine. he is banged and bruised and missing a patch of his beautiful hair but last night we stamped wedding invitations and watched mad men and everything seemed normal except for a new fierceness: a different kind of love that grows out of suddenly realizing you could lose everything, but you didn’t.

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60 Comments

  • Reply Post Grad Hair Cut June 4, 2012 at 3:54 pm

    Oh my. So happy to hear everything is okay. Lots of love from Canada.

  • Reply Jay June 4, 2012 at 4:00 pm

    Oh my goodness – that must have been terrifying. So glad to hear you both are alright.

  • Reply Mostri/Mostrini June 4, 2012 at 4:05 pm

    I've got suddenly cold reading your note. Then I was relieved to read it finally ended all right. Lots of ♥ from Belgium ☁

  • Reply Kate (Embarrassment of Riches) June 4, 2012 at 4:08 pm

    My heart nearly stopped when I read this. Every time my husband makes a bodega run, crossing Atlantic Avenue, I fear for his safety. Being a pedestrian in this city is terrifying (I actually walked home from Target the other day wielding a can of garbanzos with a "you'd BETTER yield to me" glare, because I expect to be run down and I'm vengeful like that.)

    I'm so glad James is okay.

  • Reply Emily June 4, 2012 at 4:09 pm

    Oh, Erin!! I literally put my hand to my mouth when I read this!! How terrifying! I am SO glad that James is okay but what a traumatic experience. Hoping you both have a happy and healing week after that scary weekend. Take care, friend.

  • Reply Karie June 4, 2012 at 4:10 pm

    wow, Erin. There's nothing like experiencing something as soul-shaking as that to renew every drop of love you have for someone you care about. So glad to hear he's ok.

  • Reply katy elliott June 4, 2012 at 4:11 pm

    Oh my! I'm so glad everything is alright. Eek really terrifying!! Feel better soon James!

  • Reply tinajo June 4, 2012 at 4:18 pm

    That´s so awful, I´m so glad he´ll be fine during the circumstances!

  • Reply Terri June 4, 2012 at 4:18 pm

    <3 The chills on my arms will probably stay all day, and I'll count my blessings a bit more.

  • Reply Anonymous June 4, 2012 at 4:20 pm

    So glad that he is OK!!!!

  • Reply holtkamp June 4, 2012 at 4:22 pm

    i teared up reading your last sentence. glad you have each other and that you're both ok!

  • Reply americainshort.com June 4, 2012 at 4:22 pm

    Oh Erin… This life stuff, it's all so fragile and the reminder of that is so heart wrenching yet brings light. I send love to you and yours and relieved that it's all ok.

  • Reply jennifer June 4, 2012 at 4:22 pm

    So sorry to hear this, how scary that must have been! Glad to hear he'll be okay.

  • Reply Rachael June 4, 2012 at 4:29 pm

    So glad James is ok and that you had such good friends there to help. Sending good thoughts & hoping you get to rest up.

  • Reply Rachel June 4, 2012 at 4:32 pm

    Oh, Erin – that's terrifying. I'm so glad that James is okay and that you two are tucked up safe at home.

  • Reply Janis June 4, 2012 at 4:42 pm

    Scary, terrifying, but thankfully you both are okay. Big hugs.

    Stamping invitations together and TV … what a gift.

  • Reply Annton Beate Schmidt June 4, 2012 at 4:45 pm

    Gosh Erin, that sounds horrible. Glad things turned out to be better already, but I know very well how such things stick with you. At least for a while. One precious life we lead, don't you think. Sending lots of sun from Berlin!

  • Reply Vanessa {Vanilla and Rose} June 4, 2012 at 4:49 pm

    Oh wow! That's terrifying! I'm glad to hear that everything is okay now! Hope he feels 100% soon!

  • Reply Connie | Daydream In Color June 4, 2012 at 4:51 pm

    Wow. Chills ran up my back as I read this. I'm so glad he will be OK. To a speedy recovery!

  • Reply RetreatingAndAdvancing June 4, 2012 at 5:05 pm

    Uff, poor James. Hope he's better now!

  • Reply Hannah June 4, 2012 at 5:43 pm

    I'm glad that he is okay now! Good thoughts to you both.

  • Reply Joan June 4, 2012 at 5:46 pm

    Grateful you are both ok. Your last line says it all.

  • Reply IndiaMorgan June 4, 2012 at 5:49 pm

    Such a terrifying thing to happen on a corner I know I walk everyday. Hold on to that fierce love, girl! You two are a special kind of special. Feel better, James. xx

  • Reply Jane Flanagan June 4, 2012 at 6:06 pm

    Oh wow – such a relied you are both okay, but completely terrifying to read and imagine. Big hugs to you!

  • Reply Daniella June 4, 2012 at 6:37 pm

    Wow! That is crazy! I'm so glad everyone is alright though. I hope he feels better soon with a speedy recovery. So sorry to hear this! xo

  • Reply The Yellow Door Paperie June 4, 2012 at 6:50 pm

    This made my heart break.

    A metta for you both today:
    May you be safe and protected.
    May you be peaceful and happy.
    May you be healthy and strong.
    May you get where you are going in a good shape.

  • Reply Alexa June 4, 2012 at 6:51 pm

    oh my goodness, i am sorry to hear this! but so glad he is ok. hang in there and know that you have a whole lot of blog friends thinking of you and wishing you well 🙂

  • Reply simply blythe June 4, 2012 at 6:53 pm

    glad to know he is ok.
    may your fierce love continue to grow.

  • Reply Melissa June 4, 2012 at 7:02 pm

    OMG! How terrible! Glad to hear everything is okay. I hope he is on the mend soon!

  • Reply Amy@OldSweetSong June 4, 2012 at 7:06 pm

    Poor you. And poor James. So glad to hear that everything will be okay though. That is terrifying, my friend. Wow, we all have to be very (very) careful. xo

  • Reply the southern hostess June 4, 2012 at 7:12 pm

    How awful! I'm glad you're both okay.

  • Reply Abby June 4, 2012 at 7:45 pm

    That's terrifying. I felt a thump in my chest when I opened your post, and I'm so glad you and James are all right. It's weird, how connected you feel to people you've only gotten to know through blogging.

    Wishing you all the best.

  • Reply Cindy June 4, 2012 at 7:47 pm

    thank goodness you all are ok … it is so frightening how our lives can change in an instant!

  • Reply eadaoin June 4, 2012 at 8:09 pm

    thank god all is ok. thinking of you both!

  • Reply Rebecca D. Martin June 4, 2012 at 8:10 pm

    True and frightening and beautiful: "a different kind of love that grows out of suddenly realizing you could lose everything, but you didn't." I'm so glad you didn't.

  • Reply CW June 4, 2012 at 8:19 pm

    I am very glad to hear that you still have each other. Your post speaks to me on so many levels. I lost my fiance a few years ago, and it turned my life upside down. He died unexpectedly of a brain aneurysm in the summer of 2009. He was in his early 30s, healthy. I'm so glad you're not going through that right now. Healing is hard enough.
    Another passion of mine is traffic safety (as dorky as that might sound). Reading your story reconfirms the importance of creating safe streets for everyone – especially the most vulnerable: bicyclists and pedestrians.
    My best wishes for you both. – CW

  • Reply Amanda (Dear Frances) June 4, 2012 at 9:07 pm

    That fierceness you speak of at the end is powerful stuff – and you summed it up so eloquently. It can make you feel pretty vulnerable realizing just how terrifyingly strong your feelings are for someone else, not being able to imagine your world without them. I think that's when you know that you are ready to commit to someone though. Those wedding invitations have an extra dose of special to them now. Thank you for sharing what I am sure was a hard post to write.

  • Reply Carla June 4, 2012 at 9:24 pm

    I love your blog. I'm glad James will be fine. I can't imagine what went through you at that terrifying moment. Both of you are very lucky to have each other.

    Best Wishes.

  • Reply sweet harvest moon June 4, 2012 at 9:31 pm

    Oh my! Thank god he is ok!

  • Reply Kerri Lynne June 4, 2012 at 9:38 pm

    So happy to hear that he's okay! How absolutely terrifying. It really does just make you stop and count your blessings for a second when something like this happens though, doesn't it?

  • Reply Jess June 4, 2012 at 10:40 pm

    I am so glad everything is ok! And glad you are taking love away from it.
    Jess

  • Reply leyla. June 4, 2012 at 10:42 pm

    oh, goodness! when i read the title, i really didn't expect to read this, but i'm glad that everything turned out all right. glad you had such good people around you to lend a helping hand. best wishes for a quick recovery!

    leyla.

  • Reply the lil bee June 4, 2012 at 10:44 pm

    OMG how terrifying. Glad you are both OK, Erin.

  • Reply Milynn luong June 4, 2012 at 10:55 pm

    I was holding my breath the whole time until I read that James is ok. Thank goodness, I'm so happy that he's going to be fine! I love your last sentence what a beautiful thing to take away from this incident

  • Reply Lucy June 4, 2012 at 10:58 pm

    That's terrible! And so frightening. Very glad that James is okay. Thinking of you both.

  • Reply Lynette June 4, 2012 at 11:01 pm

    Thank goodness he's okay! I love your beautiful description of a shifting perspective. A reminder.

  • Reply Kayla Poole June 5, 2012 at 1:03 am

    I just got chilled to the bone. So happy to hear you both are okay though. Big hug!

  • Reply leslie June 5, 2012 at 3:37 am

    This made me tear-y. Very relieved that James is okay. And I adore your last line; it's a lovely reminder.

  • Reply Stacey June 5, 2012 at 4:25 am

    So very happy to hear all is okay now. That must've been so scary. Beautiful post.

  • Reply Sam | ashore June 5, 2012 at 4:50 am

    sending healing and gratitude to you and James today, Erin.

  • Reply Tara June 5, 2012 at 9:51 am

    my husband and son fell off our back porch when the railing crumbled and I imagine my cry was a similar one when I found them on the ground. I'm sorry this happened but am glad to know your love will be OK as mine were.

  • Reply Christine June 5, 2012 at 8:50 pm

    Oh my goodness…what a horrible thing to have happen to the guy you love. I am so glad that everything is okay. The terror only intensifies when you have kids- oh my goodness- the thought of my little guy stumbling into traffic, which he is prone to do these days, is enough to bring tears to my eyes.

    I hope your nerves are recovering after this scare.

  • Reply janis June 5, 2012 at 9:23 pm

    oh my this almost made me cry. so glad he's all right. xo

  • Reply Sophie June 5, 2012 at 10:09 pm

    omg i teared up reading that! i am sending so much love and thoughts to you two. I am just so so so glad he is going to be ok! xxx

  • Reply Rebecca McKanna June 5, 2012 at 10:18 pm

    What a beautiful post about such a terrifying moment. Sending good thoughts to both of you. Hope he recovers quickly!

  • Reply Miya June 6, 2012 at 11:12 am

    Oh, Erin! I am so glad everything is okay, and I love your description of how a scare that turns out just fine can change your relationship. Thinking about you guys! xo

  • Reply ABBY June 6, 2012 at 1:01 pm

    terrible. so glad for the help received and that he will be ok.

  • Reply Ashley June 6, 2012 at 1:58 pm

    Dear Erin,

    I don't actually know you or James, but reading this post brought me to tears.

    I am so truly sorry that such a terrible thing happened to you, but I am glad to know that your love has deepened through the experience. You are both in my prayers as you move forward and recover.

    Sending love you way,
    Ashley

  • Reply adrienne yancey June 7, 2012 at 9:15 pm

    I'm so glad you both are ok! Here's to a speedy recovery. x

  • Reply Bonbon Oiseau June 8, 2012 at 11:36 am

    Erin! So sorry to hear it! Hoping he's even better today—and you are too. xo,
    Deb

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