While sitting half asleep trying to take but a single solitary sip of morning coffee this morning, I allowed my mind to wander. What would it be like to wake up to a quiet apartment in the morning? To miss the alarm of children calling my name and let a brightening room coax me out of bed instead? To be the first one up and to brew a cup of coffee only to slip back into bed with nary a small person demanding I get out again? And sure, a quiet morning in Brooklyn would be lovely, but while I’m daydreaming, why not a blue-sky morning in Beaulieu Sur Mer? Why not a morning of padding out to a lounge-lined pool and getting croissant crumbs stuck in belly button while finishing a novel pool-side?
Here’s what I’d need:
A gauzy robe for waltzing around in.
A pair of milky sunglasses for hiding behind.
A pair of slides for padding out to the pool.
A straw fan for keeping cool.
A sexy glass for sips of fizzy orange juice, er, mimosas.
A chic pair of nail clippers for uninterrupted primping
and a terra cotta colored nail polish, too.
A body brush for an extra long morning shower
and a decadent body oil. (Getting dressed in actual clothes not required.)
In an effort to ground all of this make-believing in something a bit more down to earth, here are three things to do to ensure that parents of small kids—especially those who are currently or recently pregnant—have the support they need in light of the ongoing maternal health crisis in this country.
To support incarcerated and formerly incarcerated mothers: Ancient Song Doula Services is currently accepting monetary donations, baby items, and pregnancy literature for their Prison Doula Services & Re-entry program, which supports folks who are pregnant and giving birth in prison.
To ensure that community-based organizations are included in the New York State Doula Pilot program for Medicaid reimbursement, sign the #OurTimeIsNow petition.
To address Black maternal health inequity: Support the Black Mamas Matter Alliance with a monetary donation. Learn more by downloading their toolkit, which outlines a human rights based approach to maternal health and identifies the rights of pregnant and birthing parents and the corresponding role of government to ensure safe and respectful maternal health care.
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Hold on, Mama. That time is coming. Around 13 years old….you must drag your kids out of bed. Today was the first day of school. My boys are 14 and 16….it was a hard morning. I was first up and hit the coffee hard before I had to get them up. I long for the days when my boys were little and woke with the sun….calling to be with me.
I spent half of the night on my couch, with a baby who didn’t want to sleep, so I think I’m going to slip easily into this make-believe. My goal for today is to have an easy breezy, vacation poolside state of mind.
Yes! Sending you poolside vibes!
Weeping here, knowing that I never once doubted that you would survive as a late-blooming baby, and that your three sisters, all born early, would survive; that the medical community would respond to my needs and to your needs; that we would be afforded the best and most responsible and responsive medical assistance, if we needed it. Why do I weep? Because at the time (not yet out of my twenties, even with child number three and child number four), I had no idea of the immeasurable benefits of white privilege and something I might have once described as forgiveness or charity or grace or kindness, but, I now understand, was all along privilege. That breaks my heart, for all of the mothers afforded no such respect or compassion or tender care. What a shame–by which I mean we all ought to be ashamed. I’ve made my donation today to Black Mamas Matter–and I give thanks to the very depths of my soul for the black man who delivered your sister–my first child–five weeks early and breech–with expert dexterity, astonishing courage, and good cheer. We should be ashamed if we accept anything less than his brand of excellence. Love and gratitude to you, still and always, Mal Martin.
Another option for those seeking to support: my doula helped to create this amazing organization, which supports black maternal health in the US and beyond…
Regular yoga and meditation can give you that spacious holiday feeling everyday – especially transcendental meditation; when the pool dream is a dream. It’s a sanity saver.
Ah yes! But it doesn’t quite cover a few precious moments of alone time without two little guys at your feet! There’s always room for a day dream.
Definitely in this phase, too! <3
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