changes.

September 23, 2010
5018821908_d341e19c9b_z i’ve been in a bit of a funk these past few days. feeling torn between pressures of school and work and home and friends. wanting to do everything well, but feeling like my grasp on it all got a little bit looser this week.

i’ve been making lists, drinking tea, and trying to forge a plan but still, i’m feeling awfully small in the face of it.

what do you do when the going gets tough?

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22 Comments

  • Reply annette September 23, 2010 at 9:52 pm

    This seems to happen to me a lot. I can't handle stress like I used to. A few things I do "when the going gets tough" are do a candle gazing meditation, take a dance class/go for walk/yoga (get moving), make sure the tea I'm drinking is herbal (since I perfer black teas), and try to eat sitting still with no other distractions. Hope you'll be feeling better soon. YOU CAN DO IT!

  • Reply Pretty Things September 23, 2010 at 10:03 pm

    First, I'm so sorry you feel that way.

    Second, I drive. I drive and drive. I go to the book store and browse and read snippets and escape. And then drive some more.

    Hope that helps?

  • Reply Rachel September 23, 2010 at 10:07 pm

    I get like this too. I crawled into bed after a long day last week and sniffed to D "I'm failing at EVERYTHING." Of course I'm not, but sometimes I just can't do everything I want on the level I'd like and then I feel guilty and lazy (although I'm working like crazy) and generally bummed out.

    I do the same things you're doing – I make lists, I drink tea, I sleep even when I feel like there isn't enough time.

    I make super dorky lists, where I have a column that is "things that are stressing me out" and the next column is "solution" and the next column is "action". Sometimes there is no solution except "get over it" and I'll actually fill that in, just to remind myself that I can't control everything or make everything perfect.

  • Reply sonya September 23, 2010 at 10:10 pm

    Ugh. I've been the same way since I moved here. I think it's a combination of school, babies, new places in life and making new friends. It's hard, but I'm trying to cut myself some slack. Lists always help me; I really enjoy the act of crossing tasks off as I accomplish them. And I try to do little things that make me feel better. Like knitting, and lately, swinging on the swings as if I were 6 years old again. Surprisingly, it really helps. I definitely recommend. I hope things smooth out for you soon! <3

  • Reply Liane September 23, 2010 at 10:44 pm

    aw, i know this all too well. i'm at a real stressful juncture in my life. what is helping me is talking with my most trusted friends, taking walks, trying to to stop and appreciate a quiet moment…take a deep breath when i'm outdoors and realize the weather feels perfect, spending small "real" moments with my kids. um, also drinking a glass of wine helps. xx

  • Reply Stacey September 23, 2010 at 11:57 pm

    Hope your funk lifts very soon, I understand how you are feeling stretched in so many directions.

    Making lists, filling in my planner and taking time for a bath or a walk help me out of funks.

    🙂

  • Reply caroline September 24, 2010 at 12:31 am

    i'm sorry, erin! things will get better.

    when things are tough for me i take a step back, and i'm honest with myself and those around me. especially when i'm being pulled in many directions and i'm trying to make everyone happy. like when i go home to connecticut i let everyone know in advance if it's a friend trip, or a family trip so no one is disappointed and don't feel torn.

    when it comes to work (and school for you) prioritizing and making lists is what i do as well. tackle it one item at a time.

    feel better!!

  • Reply Callie Grayson September 24, 2010 at 12:51 am

    I go for long walks with my pup!
    hang in there, drink more tea. deep breath and all will be better.
    xx
    callie

  • Reply KAJA JEAN September 24, 2010 at 1:15 am

    i've been feeling the same way! i've been making lists too..trying to stay calm..I think the best cure is to lie down, listen to some really good music (right now i'm listening to Greg Laswell) and then spend an evening with your besties!

    hang in there

  • Reply Laura Marie September 24, 2010 at 1:59 am

    Right there with ya right now, Erin… My remedy has been morning walks to clear my head, giving myself mini breaks to chat with friends, and little rewards for getting things done. Something about fall just seems to scream busy busy busy doesn't it?

  • Reply vanessa joie September 24, 2010 at 2:59 am

    Ahh I'm sorry you're feeling that way. I make lists too. Take long walks. Take a nap. Read a favorite book…

    Hope things get back to good soon. xo

  • Reply Emily September 24, 2010 at 1:35 pm

    Oh, my friend, I am in a similar place and am currently making pro/con lists and drinking the most delicious cinnamon tea. I think what I do when things are tough is to convince myself that whatever happens, it will be okay and I just have to try my best and let the chips fall where they may. Releasing that control is kind of a relief. I also take a lot of walks in natural settings, which calms my spirit. May you soon find peace!

  • Reply doebmom September 24, 2010 at 1:36 pm

    well, actually, what I do, my sweet girl, is remember YOU–in our kitchen, hilariously dancing in your socks to tubthumping http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LODkVkpaVQA

    or… a long look at the sea, going out, coming in, one wave at a time, like breath

    or lunch with best friends, like today

    or dancing with dad–that always works

    sometimes it takes all four–all four of you, my best work

  • Reply Erin September 24, 2010 at 5:01 pm

    thank you, thank you for all of your kind words. taking things one little step at a time. figuratively and literally. you're all quite a bunch of walkers! thanks for thinking of me. xo.

  • Reply Ann Marie September 24, 2010 at 10:56 pm

    feeling about the same way…i talk a lot to my husband, cry, make lists, and hope to get a hold of myself by the end of the weekend…hope you find your way 😉

  • Reply Kim September 25, 2010 at 12:42 am

    I don't know if I have any solutions but I have gotten lots of ideas from the comments that will perhaps help me at this stressful juncture (as Liane puts it) in my life right now.

  • Reply Denise | Chez Danisse September 25, 2010 at 1:48 am

    I have kind of a strange go-to for such situations. I watch Enchanted April. Lottie has a way of making me feel better. Be gentle with yourself.

  • Reply Fashion, Art and other fancies September 25, 2010 at 9:35 am

    I visit the woods, sip tea, cook, read, switch the telephone off, swan about the house listening to classical music and end the evening in the bath-tub. Hope you feel better – look after yourself.
    Have a nice weekend.

  • Reply Jane Flanagan September 26, 2010 at 10:17 pm

    I've recently learned to just quit doing so much… to identify that thing that is completely dissatisfying and causing a lot of stress and just abandon it. I also find routines comforting… once I know how long everything is likely to take, I find I can streamline my approach. The downside of all that organizing is it can make things dry sometimes, so it's always a balance of unplanned spontaneity and planning…

    Stay well xxx

  • Reply knack September 28, 2010 at 11:26 pm

    ….I have so been here before….and you are doing the perfect things! unplug….enjoy your loved ones…..make lists and goals…and then allow yourself to be free…
    xo

  • Reply Hiking in Stilettos September 30, 2010 at 1:31 am

    It's fitting that I am just now reading this as I have been feeling torn between the same things. Know that even though we all need some time to unplug (often literally), you will always have virtual friends waiting when you return.

  • Reply laurab October 13, 2010 at 5:12 am

    listen to some new music! I am seriously digging Serena Ryder! love you Er Bear–just catching up on your blog. You've inspired me to do three things tonight: clean my kitchen, put a brand new bedskirt and red sheets on the mattress i finally bought, and write a letter to my friends. you are the best.

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