Survival Tip #161: Take Your Small Apartment One Day at a Time.
Monday: Give fresh water and fresh cuts to grocery store flowers. Precious treatment for $2.99 stems chosen by a three-year-old and bought by her papa. Their being on the table makes up for the fact that said table is smushed up against the stools so that no adult person could use this strange corner for its intended purpose. (The purpose was dumb anyway.)
Tuesday: Witness Faye take her breakfast atop one of the aforementioned stools despite the lack of room. She is perturbed neither by the proximate threat of chef’s knifes, nor the fact that she nearly splits her chin every single time she attempts a dismount. (Perhaps getting perturbed is overrated.)
Wednesday: Notice a smear of butter from this morning’s breakfast globbed onto the back of this chair. It has been there all day. (Practice in not getting perturbed.)
Thursday: Vacuum the ever-present trail of breadcrumbs across the floor of this apartment. They will reappear minutes later. Frankly, I’m impressed by their audacity. If only they were cowed by my tenacity. (Vacuum again.)
Friday: Spend two hours going down a rabbit hole of plug-in wall sconces. Silas has pulled my nightstand onto himself twice in the past week. Both times, my late grandmother’s DIY project—a crystal candlestick turned lamp—was sent flying off the table. If you don’t believe in miracles, know this: Neither the silver-capped bulb nor the lamp shattered, either time. Still, third time will probably be the charm, and so, sconce-inspired rabbit holes. (Maybe this corner needs one, too.)
Saturday: Congratulate myself once again for appeasing the grumpy downstairs neighbor by purchasing a white runner instead of a grey one. Yes, it’s covered in stains. A black one would be covered in fuzz. A grey one would still show that grease spot. (Pattern? Colors? Only so many new tricks to teach an old dog.)
Sunday: Retuck the slipcover for the fifteenth time this week. Remind myself to get it cleaned. (Admit to being slightly perturbed.)
Tiny apartment survival tips #1-160 RIGHT THIS WAY.